Seeking a Commitment

I’ve become a huge Twitter user, I’m not going to say I’m obsessed – but I use it a lot.  I really enjoy tweets from @foryourmarriage – an account used to post daily comments about marriage and blog posts from other people.  It is a portion of the USCCB’s initiatives to nurture the Sacrament of Marriage.

Today a blog post came from David Gibson that discussed the importance of the words within the marriage vows.  Gibson quotes a priest from London who said:

“The words of marriage and the meaning they embody add a seriousness that young people are actually looking for. These words serve as a reminder that the woman and man “are not just creating a landscape from their own imagination.” Rather, they are “going on a journey into a vast, beautiful, awe-inspiring but unknown, uncharted and slightly risky territory.”

This quote, and the rest of the blog post, made me think back to when I was a teenager and it was one of my life goals to get married.  It wasn’t that I was some horny adolescent male just looking for some physical love, and it wasn’t that I was off to the races to complete all of my life goals as soon as I could.  Looking back on it, it was the sense of commitment and love that I found so important.  I wanted to commit myself to someone else, and have them commit themselves to me so that I would be able to share my life with someone.  This seems a bit ironic to me because of a growing hesitancy towards commitments.  I often hear people expressing that they don’t want to feel tied down, they want to be able to live freely – and that is in regards to making dinner plans not even marriage!

That said, I didn’t want to just settle on anyone who was willing to do that.  The time had to be right, the feelings had to be mutual, and this person had to be someone who would support and share their life with me.  There was no magical moment, no fairy tale dream, just the stars aligning.  And so I felt God was moving Caitlin and I to get married.  How could I pass up such an opportunity to share the rest of my life with someone, especially if God was calling me to it?

Part of the wedding vows that I have engraved on the inside of my ring are the priest’s line: “What God has joined, no human must divide.”  I wasn’t afraid we’d separate at some point, but I chose this quote as a reminder that this is something driven by God – greater than our own desires.  There are many quarrels and distractions which can get in between two people and I wanted myself to be constantly reminded that despite those tough times, the grace of God and love for one another brings us together.  Therefore we are united by this commitment of love that we professed in our vows almost six months ago.

It’s an interesting thing to think about – what is it about marriage that makes it one of my life goals?  I don’t believe that goal ends at the wedding day either.


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